This summer I will be attending a discipleship program for 10 weeks. Prayers are very much appreciated! ❤ It’s amazing how living life and growing in my faith and meeting people and getting to know them can affect and improve my writing, helping me write honestly and from my heart, since my heart is expanding into more meaningful territory. Though I may not have much time for working on my novel, I know this experience will be life-changing. And I know I will have time to slow down and ponder what life is really all about.
As much as life seems like it’s all about the going and moving and chasing and running round and round here and there getting success and getting a family and getting a house and getting getting getting — as much as it seems like that… I think it’s more about the slowing down. The stopping. The stillness of a summer evening when the sun is slightly down and the stars are slightly out and you finally get the freedom to ponder. To rest. What really matters gently settles in your heart and peace befriends you in the coolness of the day that is coming to an end. The busyness kept it away for so long. You wish you could always be like this. Accepted. Your life of running didn’t fill you up. It left you empty.
What’s the point? Just being here is all that matters. So much for the trying. The trying and trying. You could never be enough to fill you up. As soon as you get big you deflate like a balloon who really tried its best, but the one needle-sized hole threw you off again. You need something inside you to stay the same. Unchanging, consistent – if you could just be that, you could at least understand yourself again. Whoever you are.
Because life isn’t about the rushing and rushing to inflate yourself only to soon get deflated again. It’s not about turning yourself into someone you like only to hate yourself the next day. It’s not about that.
It’s about the slowing down. The stopping. The understanding and taking it in. The breathing in the cool evening air and looking up at the beginnings of the little stars that decorate the galaxy in meekness and power. What wonders they are. Echoing the beauty of a King who sits on His throne in splendor, ruling in meekness and power.
Unchanging, consistent — He’s what’s inside you, filling you up. That’s what life is all about. Filling you up with the staggering wonder of your Ruler and Savior, until you have no room to worship your every whim and desire. Until the reality of the highest Power towers over you, and at the same time draws near you and woos you gently, swaying to a new song, speaking tenderly to you as the sun melts into the west and the stars glitter the night in deeper grandeur and purer joy.